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A Dressmakers Woe

Inspired by and Dedicated to Hannah –  I wonder why?


I am a dancers Mum

And a dressmaker by trade

I do something I enjoy

Ocassionally even get paid


My customers are all happy

They write a thank you letter

And each and every dress I make

Well they just get better and better


So can you tell me why it is

That fear can strike me down

The minute my lovely daughter says

 “Oh Mum I need a new gown”


“I’ve really got to have one”

“I need it in a thrice”

“This old one is no good now”

“I’ve worn it at least twice”


Ok my dearest daughter

Just tell me what you’d like

Said whilst gritting my teeth

In a grip just like a vice


“Oh I don’t know”

“I’m too busy now to think”

“Instead I’ll leave it up to you”

“But I definitely don’t want pink”


“I’d like a nice deep cleavage”

“And you need to enhance my figure”

“Accentuate my hips somewhat”

“But don’t make my bum look bigger”


“I don’t want frills or tassels”

“It can’t be too short or too long”

“I’m really not being that fussy”

“Just make sure you don’t get it wrong”


That shouldn’t be too difficult

The impossible I can manage

To perform a miracle somehow

Just might be more of a challenge

So to my trusty sewing machine

Muttering a prayer for luck

Buried under yards of fabric

To nip and pin and tuck


At the very first fitting

I wait with bated breath

For the initial verdict

And the likely kiss of death


“Let this bit out, Take this bit in”

“Move that bit over there”

“Shorten this just half an inch”

“Oh and give the skirt more flare”


“I don’t think I want sleeves now”

“This strap is loose, that one is tight”

“And the bra cups look a little wonky”

“Apart from that I suppose it’s alright”


“But then what about the colour”

“I don’t think I could bear”

“If anyone should think”

“That it clashes with my hair”


“It will need lots and lots of sparkle”

“About 10,000 rhinestones should stand”

“On second thoughts I’d prefer sequins”

“Then you can sew each one on by hand”


Of course dear, why not

I’m very happy to do all that

After all I have nothing better to do

Apart from sit and fondle the cat


So at last it is all finished

This dazzling creation of mine

I can’t feel my fingers nor lift my arms

And I am very nearly blind


This story now is nearing the end

And I bet you all want to know

What she thought of the end result

Of the dress that I did sew


Well if you see her wearing it

You will know that she was glad

If not you will be unable to miss



Why oh why do I do this

Once, then again and some more

Well I have to admit to a sense of pride

When she looks absolutely stunning on the floor

Elaine - 2006




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